I've always been fascinated with the "Gates of Hell" in Turkmenistan, a fiery pit of gasses accidentally unleashed by a Soviet drilling rig in 1971. Thinking they could just light the gasses on fire to burn it off and resume drilling, it's been burning ever since. Now, in the middle of the desert, is a giant pit of flame. Yes, this is something I want to see.

In January 2022, the Turkmenistan government ordered its scientists to try to figure out how to put this fire out. I'm a little skeptical that they'll succeed, but at any rate, it seems the fire pit's days are numbered. So I was stoked when Atlas Obscura began offering guided trips to Turkmenistan that included the Gates of Hell. I immediately signed up.

Turkmenistan is an authoritarian government. Cult of personality is more like it. It's probably what Trump wants to turn the US into: A government built around fealty to the whims of one man's ego. In this case, the man is Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, who served as the country's president until March 2022 when he "elected" his son to take over. The population is severely oppressed. Freedom of expression and thought are nonexistent. Religious and ethnic minorities are under constant threat of harm, as discrimination against them is actively encouraged by the government. So it goes without saying that homosexuality is criminalized. Its ranking is so low that the country doesn't even appear on my list of countries by LGBTQ safety. For a pretty good insight into the inner workings of Turkmenistan, check out episode 4 of Dark Tourist on Netflix.

All of this sounds like something I would really like to take a peek at and I was excited to go. The trip by Atlas Obscura has a maximum of 8 people, guided by a couple of locals. Safety is relatively assured for travelers. It's small enough to go unnoticed. But as I watched the news about Brittney Griner being imprisoned in Russia, I started to have second thoughts. I reached out to Atlas Obscura, explaining that I'm a transgender woman and I'd really love to go on this trip, but what is their opinion on my safety. Here's there response:

We here at Atlas Obscura are dedicated to promoting diversity and inclusion for all of our guests. Our team will always do everything within our power to support, protect and welcome everyone! Furthermore, we want to ensure everyone has a safe, comfortable, and fun experience. That being said, we have reached out to our trip leader who is on the ground in Turkmenistan for insight, and there are a few considerations we want to be transparent about when it comes to traveling in this country.

Gender and sexual orientations are not to be openly discussed or displayed by anyone, heteronormative or otherwise. Transgender individuals who have undergone a full gender transition that is reflected on all legal documents brought while traveling should not encounter any complications.

Transgender individuals who have not undergone a full transition, or have variances between their appearance and the gender listed on their travel documents are at risk of encountering obstacles and this trip would not be a safe choice due to the possibility of cultural discrimination. Currently Turkmenistan does criminalize LGBTQ persons.

For some further information, I recommend reading up on the US State Department site (Information specific to LGBTQI+ travelers can be found in the Local Laws & Special Circumstances" section), the LGBT Rights in Turkmenistan Wikipedia page, and the Human Dignity Trust page for Turkmenistan.

While Atlas Obscura would be thrilled to have you join our adventure, we also hold your safety in high regard and want to be certain you have the resources to make an informed decision. Please reach out with any questions you may have, I am here to help however I can!

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. I continued my conversation with the nice person at Atlas Obscura, asking some more questions about the tour and general expectations of safety. They never recommended that I not attend. But they did make it very clear: This is an authoritarian government and there are no guarantees. "Do not discuss anything related to homosexuality, even casually to your fellow tourists," was repeatedly said to me.

Now, I enjoy a certain amount of passing privilege. Casual observers often don't recognize that I'm transgender, which gives me a lot of confidence when I travel. But I've never been to a country that would probably have me killed if they figured it out. I had an urge to go anyway because, like the Dark Tourist, I'm curious and fascinated with such places. But this got me thinking. The other tourists aren't signing up for the heightened risk of having a transgender person in the party. And the tour guides, who are local Turkmen, could potentially be at EXTREME risk even after the tour is over and I'm home safe. Quite simply, I'm not willing to put these people at risk simply by my presence. I can't be that selfish. Authoritarian countries are no joke, even in the safest of circumstances. While I might be willing to accept this risk myself, I can't ask others to. So, my friends, this is why I won't be visiting the Gates of Hell.

My warmest thanks and kindest regards to my friends at Atlas Obscura.